Whom does idealization hurt more? – the dreamer or the subject of the dream? The person who has externalized the source of every answer he has always sought, or the person being put up on the pedestal as if his true self wasn’t enough?
What happens when that idealization ends? There seem to be ways this story can turn out. Perhaps reality comes crashing down on them and one of them breaks down, while the other feels betrayed. There’s also the chance that one of them expresses, in full vulnerability, and the other responds with kindness, understanding, and love. As much as we focus on the ideal of the second, it is probably best to concede that we are, but, ordinary people, trying to do our best, looking for meaning and love, and learning to express ourselves as truthfully as possible. We are grappling with everything that our senses send our way, and looking to instill some rhythm and some pauses into our living.
Sure, be kind, and understanding. But what’s more important is to be true to yourself and your capabilities- we’re just ordinary people. We’re simply human, and our asymmetry is beautiful. It shows how deep and diverse we are, for there is only so much that can be contained within perfection – it’s completeness is stagnant; it is done and dusted, and one must move past it. But when there is a trail of frayed thread, or a hint of desire, then there is the glorious chance of fruition- a relationship, a journey together, a vision of the sunset- shared and taken in with the delight of breaking bread with another, of community.
We’re just ordinary people.