Goals for my 20s: Suaveness and Expertise.

Interpretation: The oversized teddy bear, symbolizes the psyche of a child, slowly approaching adolescence, which is marked by rebellion due to the sudden imposition of harsh, but distilled realities, with little understanding of the world, and therefore feeling radically misunderstood.

Reading opinionated commentary is my favourite past time. I couple it with an inner soliloquy that constantly challenges the assumptions made by the author. The latter has reared its head only of late- say over the past 2 years, when I realized and was told by a mentor that my worldview was not aligned with several precepts of reality. Not that I was not aware of it; I had been called eccentric, different, not-run-off-the-mill and several other adjectives, which did not quite help me understand why I stood apart, instead lending a shade of alienation to such remarks. If others were thinking that my being ‘distinguished’ from them in this seemingly-arcane manner was pleasing my ego, far from it. I was constantly racking my brains as to what made me different, so as to be able to take charge of this energy instead of letting it run amok in my subconscious and force others to project themselves onto my personality.

So lately, while I read sensationalized feminist opinions, such as 12yo Madison Kimrey’s scathing letter-cum-sermon to Phyllis Schlafly on feminism (whose ideology I’m simply going to assume to belong to the same school as Ann Coulter’s, because I have only so much time in the world) or an acquaintance opining about the dogma of patriarchal wedding tradition, I simply remind myself that these people are young, much like I am right now, and perhaps even like how I was before these two years during which I put every idea and notion under the radar of enquiry, and questioned every assumption based on which I conducted my life.

The youth’s voice draws its power in its ability to enchant. It reminds you of the thoughts and ideas that occurred to you when you were unbound by the very real limitations that run the world. Dogma, capital (or the lack thereof), favoritism, cliques, the triple threat of duty-responsibility-priority, etc seem like structures and systems that are waiting to be rebelled against, seeming, as they do, to be perpetuating slavery of some kind. However, much of dissent comes from limited understanding of the complexity of circumstances which gave birth to the system, and the variables that fed its tentacles leading to its monstrosity.Quite a bit like haters, don’t you think?

But, it is fairly evident in the world of debate and logic that when we try to counter dogma with dogma, we simply end up in a world held together by the reins of fear and shame. Lest you misinterpret, I am not writing in favour of being well-adjusted. I don’t care for being well-adjusted. I don’t care to fall in line just because I was told to do so. However, I have learnt (and hope to habituate) that if I were to ask a question, I had best phrase it without undermining another’s authority (else, it becomes rhetorical, and therefore narcissistic). This helped me put a stop to my self-sabotaging ways, a.k.a. rebelling without a cause. Instead, here’s a new way of expression that I propagate- that of hacking the system, which comes from expertise and suaveness, and I wonder if anybody would disagree with me when I say that there is all kinds of dearth of suave people.


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