Me. And You.

Hey you! Yes, you. You, who have called me out on all my disadvantageous ways. You, who have never been intimidated by me, to engage me in fierce ego battles, who have never shied away from being a pain in an uncomfortable spot. You push all my buttons at once- BAM! It makes me- me who is always so calculated and measured, turn around and bare my instincts like a furious chimpanzee in all her maternal protective glory! You make me want to scream and label your existence purposeless- but I’d be lying. You send my head reeling with all the coincidental similarity, the synchronicities- as if the world were beckoning me to look at you and the sight to behold that you are.  I wish you were a million miles away from my conscious awareness. But… that would mean that I wouldn’t be the person I am now and here. I can’t have that.

Hey you! I know all your quirks, and pssst.. I enjoy them! I know that you rub your eye with your pointer with a coy smile when you are confronted with a question you don’t wanna answer, but you answer it anyway. I love that. It’s the only time I have seen you smile in real life- we’ll change that, won’t we? I love the honesty with which you readily admit when someone’s speaking an uncomfortable truth about you. It brings about a surge of respect in my heart- I wish you could see yourself in moments like those… the raw honesty, the humility, the utter humanness. I know you love my quirky retorts, even when it means besting you. You’ll take it with that shy smile- yeah, I noticed them all, you know? That eyebrow lift, your moments of claim to knowing me better than anybody else, and those flashes of maniacal anger and mistrustfulness of others. But, I can see that you hold me in the highest esteem and trust me to make good decisions- you have told me so yourself. I can see that you love being around me, even if you are rolling eyes on the outside- you know I make you feel warm and understood. Only because ‘you’re weird… and I’m weird too’ (No, I’m not! 😛 ). I know you love to hear me laugh. When I walk into a room, I know you’ve taken note of my presence, whether you acknowledge it or not- because when I’m looking around the room for you.. our eyes meet and you are always already looking at me. You always find me before I find you. Just like the first time- you knew it then too, didn’t you?

Hey you! I think you are a beautiful soul, just the way you are. You are kind and gentle, and wouldn’t hurt a fly if you could help it. But that’s not to say that you are any less courageous than the bravest of them all. You are such a braveheart, never letting anybody upset those whom you care about. You can get fierce, and sometimes that pulsating temper gets the better of your usual restrained composure- sorry for prodding them outbursts out of you <sheepish grin>. Your empathy, your sensitive side- it shocked me the first time, but it was momentary as I realized that I should have known. On the inside, you are just as warm as I am. Just as caring. Just as tender. But what I admire most of all is your persistence and the way you honour commitments. You will never let your word fall by the wayside. Your consistency and your stern awareness of what you claim to be your responsibility- you are such a remarkable soul.

Hey you. Knowing you has humbled me, softened me, made me more aware to my faults as well as my graces. But you know what? That has never bothered me, thanks to your unwavering affection. You loved me then as you do now. Back then when I was angsty, wanting to whip up Molotov cocktails, and hurl bottles at walls. Back when I dressed shoddily… not that I have made too much of a headway since, but at least I am aware of the nature of shoddiness? Back then when I was loud and living on the surface of things, never letting myself care to look further. But you, you knew that I would come around, didn’t you? You cared for me anyway, and decided to take a step back until I figured it all by myself. Whathell, you. How did you get ahead and get so wise? I’m so envious that I have to smile. 🙂

Hey you. I’ll tell you something- I don’t care for your coming around, because there is no such thing. I’m already right there by your side, never to be anywhere else.

Hey you. Let me in again, will you? Let’s never give ourselves the chance to lose the lessons we have learnt. You are my best friend.

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One thought on “Me. And You.

  1. Pingback: Really. Just count your blessings. | Risk-taking. Soul-sailing.

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