“True rebels hate their own rebellion. They know by experience that it is not a cool and glamorous lifestyle; it takes a courageous fool to say things that have not been said and to do things that have not been done.”
– Criss Jami, Venus Arms.
People are always calling me a rebel. I don’t recognize, let alone respect, authority for what it is- a title that does not seem to always offer justification for itself. I don’t like doing a lot of the usual things- always because I have a good reason and I’ll tell you if you ask me. I don’t like it when people tell me what to do- I don’t think anybody does! And people are always calling me a rebel. Never once did I like that label.
It isn’t exactly anybody’s kind of fun to not find more people like your self. To celebrate? To trash a book with? And be told that I have never written one myself- yeah I like that sort of cheekiness; it cracks me up. 😀
Anywhoo, I like to think of myself as someone who does not compromise. Such a person would ideally be defined as somebody with a lot of integrity, and that would be a remarkable aspect of a person’s identity in a world where everybody would like to imagine to be living in. But nope, I end up being called a rebel- most times as an observation, sometimes in an affectionate, cutesy way, and in the coming days, I expect it to be said oftener in a chastising tone. Probably suffixed with ‘without a cause’. In the coming days because, I’m not a teen anymore. I’m supposed to whipping myself up in shape, and getting my act together for the real world. Not be too passionate about ideals, but rather more stoic- not that stoicism is not a philosophy that I do not study. Run my fire dry, yeah that wouldn’t inconvenience anybody.
Stop. You are feeling sorry for me. Don’t. I’m just stating things as I see it. I’m not saying I’m giving into it. I don’t care if I ever live in a world with opportunities. Opportunities such as the opportunity to be free, to express, to ‘offend’ because a debate entails it, to live. Hell, I’ll borrow a leaf from the books of subjective reality and live vicariously. I will speak my mind, be rude and ruthless about truths (because if it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth; Carl Sagan y’all), and I will laugh because I find the imagined helplessness of people damn funny sometimes.
Yup, that sounds like fantastic life to look forward to. Days to wake up to, learn from, and be impulsive during the course of.
P.S.: I happen to like Christianity and enjoy reading its ideals. I hate the way some of its symbols and lores are interpreted today. I know Jezebel accommodated Baal, and is seen as a symbol of promiscuity and all things related to sin, but Jesus wisely advised to not judge other lest we want to be judged ourselves! Besides, I was listening to P!nk’s ‘Bad Influence’, and I remembered a short tale I had read about Jezebel, and she seemed like someone I would race a bike with. Bikes with pedals- yeah, that sort. Besides, I kinda used it in a vein similar to that of rhyming a word to tut-tut its implication. Like promises-shromises. Rebel Jezebel. Ok, imna just stahp.